Simply expressing that you are sorry for their loss is just fine. The Vigo County Health Department says to be extra cautious when traveling to these events. However, share with the family member your concern graciously: “I apologize, but I don’t want to break down and draw attention to us, and I’m afraid I will. It makes us cringe. Because it is a visitation, the casket or urn may not be present, but prepare yourself for the possibility (you are under no obligation to view the remains if you are not comfortable doing so). Try to share the essence of who the person was. This etiquette applies for when a friend passes away, not a relative of the child. What you need to know about cremation urns, funerals, memorials, and more. Unless the family wants the funeral or memorial service to be private, you are welcome to attend. Why should I dress up? Let’s define wakes and funerals, and also factor in the culture and background of the decedent’s family. None of us thought death would knock on the door for our loved one for another 50 years or more. Stick mostly to the positive. If they prefer the funeral and/or burial to be private, you’re showing your respect to the deceased by honoring the wishes of the family. When my first husband died of cancer, I was 27 years old. The loved ones of the deceased will take comfort in the fact that you cared enough to take the time to express your support. So if you are planning on giving flowers, bring them to the visitation. US Urns Online is your resource for information on cremation urns, funerals, memorials and more. You are planning on going to the funeral, and perhaps attending the viewing the night before. If you already know the family, it can still be difficult to know what to say. I’ll miss Sharon too.”, Read more: Funeral Etiquette: A Brief Guide for What to Say & Do. There may or may not be a final pass-by before the body is taken away for final disposition. Many mourners will treasure the stories they hear about their loved one at the visitation. Question: What will happen during the visitation? Your email address will not be published. You have recently suffered the loss of a friend, acquaintance or co-worker. Let everyone know you didn’t run out the door at the last minute to attend. This site also displays ads and, on occasion, will display sponsored products or posts. Read our full disclosure here. Funerals give the surviving family and friends the chance to say goodbye. We’re having a memorial service soon and so far, everyone I’ve spoken to says they have to work. Experiences of other practices and traditions than what we have described above will be particularly appreciated. I’m confused about how close you have to be to the people involved, and what is and isn’t appropriate.I’ve recently received a number of queries on this subject. If attending the visitation, briefly explain to the family member(s) you speak to how you knew the person. Over the course of a person's life, there are only a few milestones that offer the chance to let our loved ones know we're really there for them—including weddings, funerals, and graduations. In North America, the wake is generally used interchangeably with the terms viewing or visitation. What if we share stories that bring back fond memories, and we laugh? If there are extenuating circumstances and you are having difficulty deciding, talk it over with a friend or family member. Someone has just died. Required fields are marked *. A telephone call to let the family know you are thinking of them at this difficult time is also appropriate. Her book on how moms can teach their children to become the best version of themselves (Harvest House Publishing) earned the prestigious Mom’s Choice Gold Award for excellence in parenting books. Your email address will not be published. Last night a friend of mine from highschool had a visitation for his funeral, today they will have the actual funeral. My wife and I have been put in charge of planning my grandmother’s funeral since my grandfather passed away a couple of years ago. It’s usually just relatives and those closest to the deceased. Your email address will not be published. "I believe in always going to the funeral," author Dierdre Sullivan wrote in her book This I Believe. You are planning to attend the funeral, but are also thinking about going to the visitation.

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